Category Archives: holidays

like kwanzaa and labor day

Halloween parties: Think, “I was so fucked up last night” + zombies and hot nurses

If you’re my age, when Halloween rolls around every year you no longer go from door to door in your neighborhood in search of candy. Well, you still might but that would probably be because you were drunk. Yes, booze and not candy is now what captivates us every time October 31st rolls around. It makes sense really, you’ve put time and effort, and in some cases lots of money into your giant gorilla suit or Michael Jackson costume so why not top the persona you are trying to capture off with a little liquor induced acting? You would probably be much more inclined to climb that tree overhanging the river with those 10 whiskey shots in your stomach, and you probably wouldn’t attempt to moon-walk down that flight of cement stairs were it not for the case race you had against that guy in the ninja turtle costume.

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Typical Halloween attire. 'Beer Keg Man' was the designated driver for the night.

And why shouldn’t we enjoy ourselves? We’re always told that our years in college are some of the best years of our lives so we should get as much enjoyment out of them as possible. This is especially true for holidays such as Halloween, which you’ll only experience 4-5 times as an undergraduate unless you like it so much you decide to stick around for another 3-4 years, a good option for the hardest partiers. But if your idea of enjoyment on Halloween is getting super drunk with a bunch of guys in cavemen outfits, playing Madden 09′ and then wandering outside to throw up on people’s lawns and smash their pumpkins in the streets that’s fine. I won’t judge you if that sort of thing is your idea of maximizing your college experience.

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It's like, what we'd look like if we played sports in the 80s get it?

And who am I to judge if your idea of a good time is waking up on a futon surrounded by groggy semi-strangers with a pounding headache, a missing cell phone, several mystery stains on your pants, a torn eye patch and damaged paper mache parrot on your shoulder? I’m not, I just wouldn’t have dressed as a pirate. But that’s what it’s really all about. Making memories, or at least piecing them together based on what pictures you’ve been tagged in. Afterall, nothing makes a dazed walk home the morning following a party more enjoyable than if it is done as a cardboard robot or giant plastic M&M.

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Filed under childhood, culture, holidays